Another Diagnosis

So today we had our final meeting with CAMHs (Children & Adult Mental Health Service to see how they would diagnose our girl. We have long since noticed that she had many traits of ASD and obviously this blog is all about the challenges and joys of living in a house on the spectrum. She has been given a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder and it has surprised me how that news has rocked me.

My head certainly says that this is a good thing. It means that we know what we are dealing with and that we can access NDIS and get her the support she needs. I have read a few things about ASD in girls and how hard it is to diagnose and was concerned when the psychologist was asking us questions about her early life as to my memory is was not present, or at least obvious. To me the ASD has emerged from within her over the last few years. I assume that it will continue to do as time moves on. So, logic is telling me that this is a good thing and that we can face the future armed with the necessary knowledge and tools to give her the help she is going to need.

This, of course (I suppose) doesn't mean that it is not difficult to hear. My beautiful, funny, quirky, girl that can have me in a fit of rage, then a fit of laughter separated by mere moments has a 'disorder'. I still don't like that part of the acronym. I know that ASD is a spectrum and that a major part of the diagnosis is a lacking of social skills, but when I look at my kids and other kids I know on the spectrum I see so much more than a 'disorder'. I see amazing minds that see the world in a way that I can not. I hear amazing ideas, amazing knowledge and amazing passion in their chosen interests.  If it is true that they have a disorder when it comes social skills or sensory interactions then surely us NT (Neuro Typicals) have a disorder when it comes to knowing every fact about a subjects or having a photographic memory or seeing links between things or finding systems or connections or getting back up to face a hostile and unknowing world. Maybe we should accept that we all have disorders in parts of our lives? I have noticed mine when, for example, playing netball (it is not a pretty sight).

I am sure we all have times when we feel like a fish out of water and we can remember how stressful and disorientating that feels. I also suspect that often we choose to do that thing as little as possible in the future. It seems a little sad to me that we don't get labelled with a disorder when in those situations but people on the spectrum when out of their comfort zone do. Perhaps this is because as a society we place a huge importance on correct social interactions. 'Manners are really important", "Look people in the eye when you talk to them", "make sure you have a firm handshake" etc etc. But who gets to decide what is correct?

I think I digressed a little there. The point is that I will continue to see my girl for the marvel that she is. I want her diagnosis to be a chance for us to help her to understand the world and its inhabitants a little better. Maybe we can even teach the world a little about her too.

While I have been writing this, the inhabitants of Asperia have been watching Forest Gump. (most of us are sick at the momemnt so we are not being very dynamic). They are all entranced by Tom Hanks and his antics trying to fit in in the world. However in a strangely regular rhythm the film is interrupted  but a comment by one of the kids. The comment is then followed by a 'shush' or 'be quiet' by one of the others. As much as it feels a little like water torture I can't help but think that this is where were are going to learn some acceptance, tolerance and appreciation of others. Doing things together, I mean, not watching Forest Gump. Tom Hanks is good, but not that good.

P.S. I asked her earlier if she had any questions for me about the diagnosis. She paused the video she was watching of a youtuber with Autism and looked at me. After a long pause that involved me wondering what she was going to ask and if i would have a decent answer for it, she said "Can I have another cat?"