Wasn't it Ronan Keating from Boyzone who said that 'Life is a Rollercoaster and you've just got to ride it." Well as much as I disliked his music I must concede that in this instance he was correct. although if I remember rightly (I had to google it) is also said "Love me for a reason and let the reason be love" Which is a most ridiculous truism, so I am not going to nominate him for any literary or philosophical awards.
Anyway back to the point, life is a rollercoaster and this week has felt like a trip to the Asperia version of Disneyland. Which would, of course, be very quiet, ordered and lacking in people dressed up in suits and masks as they would freak the inhabitants out (or is that just me). Anyway, the week started with getting oldest boy back to school after the incidents of last week. Of course having to deal with this on a Monday morning meant that he couldn't cope with the rest of the day so he came home. A bit of bad planning there meant that we had to go through it all again on the Tuesday (well I say we, I had very little to do with it).
After this shaky start, we had a reasonably positive week and things felt normal in Asperia. Normal? what am I talking about? like there is a normal, "yeah what's normal then?" Jimmy screaming at his dad in Quadrophenia still echoes through my brain at the very thought of it. This is the same as the idea of 'Should' what people 'should' be doing is neither here nor there let's act on what is really happening. So anyway back to the point, we were having a fairly positive week, the little Asperians were getting on (well sort of, you know) and Mrs Asperian and I were lulling ourselves into a false sense of security.
Then Friday arrived and we recieve a call from one school that Oldest Boy has kicked someone, closely followed by the other school telling us that Youngest Boy has punched someone. I couldn't help expecting a call about Daughter having headbutted someone! Could this be considered the perfect hat-trick of violent outbursts? like the perfect hat-trick in football* (left foot, right foot and header for those uninitiated in that game).
* (soccer for those of you reading in Australian).
After spending some time reflecting on the thugs that I have managed to raise (and me a pacifist!) it turned out to be not as bad as it seemed, not that it was that good but you know, we must look at the positives. The weekend couldn't come soon enough in Aspreria especially for my good lady wife who had just about reached the end of her tether but Friday night. I suggested that she went out for the day and left me with the young Asperians on Saturday. A suggestion that she greeted with relief, all be it mixed with a certain sense of foreboding as my track record for keeping calm in said situations is not immaculate.
After a very pleasant morning and a workable lunch, I made a deal with younglings. They could enjoy an afternoon basking in the pleasures of the blacklit glow of various screens, if they allowed me time, space and quiet to indulge in some Garage Bandery. Since playing with my old band back in the UK I had one of our songs worming its way through my mind for a couple of weeks, and I wanted to record it (maybe you can hear it when it is finished!). So the afternoon was a success for all concerned and we even enjoyed some take away for dinner.
And what does one do in these situations? well in this case one decide to push ones luck and let the angelic Asperians stay up late and watch Tangled together. They had been so loverley together all day, what could go wrong?
Well seeing as you asked........ with what couldn't have been more than 2 minutes of the film remaining (I exaggerate not, I had just been into them and there was 6 and a half minutes left) we hear the blood curdling scream of an Asperian in pain. On rushing in I am presented with an amost perfect inprint of youngest's teeth marks. I was tempted to whip out the plaster of paris to take a mold in the hope I could save money at the dentist's one day. Youngest Boy rushed into his room screaming at everyone and as he ran down the hall we noticed the huge, bleeding scratch marks down his back! "Didn't we almost have it all?" sung Whitney Houston in all honesty not in premontion of my day in 2017 but on the money all the same.
Obviously, the only thing to do in this situation is to turn to the wisdom of 80's/90's pop stars. ex boy band members if possible (not looking at you 5ive) but Whitney when necessary. "You've gotta get high before you taste the lows" Robbie Williams crooned** (yeah I know that's not what he meant). Our Asperian realm came crashing down around our ears once again, how can we face another false dawn. What on earth is going to happen at Sunday morning football? (See first asterix, (this is getting complicated)). Well as it turned out Oldest boy did the whole thing, getting ready, team talk, playing the game, half time, shaking hands at the end, the whole damn shooting match without a single tear, cross word or any upset...... and to top it all he scored our only goal against the mighty Rangers.
**last one I promise
Middle girl didn't do quite so well as she had a massive asthma attack because she has developed an allergy to something (confirmed at the doctors today) and had to leave early. Still we are making progress and things are looking up. To be frank Ronan you can stick your roller coaster where the sun don't shine. I will settle for a nice calm (and level) model train ride. Perhaps this is what theme parks look like in Asperia? Nice, gentle and calm because one need to escape from the real terrifying rollercoaster of life.
Anyway, tonight Oldest boy and I had a nice chat about life while kicking the football around in the garden and it felt (almost) normal. So I am going to sign off and watch Game of Thrones. One more thing though (yes, honestly), I want to thank everyone who read my last blog and everyone that said such nice things to me about it. It is wonderful to know how much support and understanding there is out there for us Asperians. I told Oldest boy that it was all going to be alright, and right here, right now I beleive it............ but here comes the corkscrew honing into view.
Monday, July 31, 2017
Sunday, July 23, 2017
First Post
I really don't know what will happen with this blog just like I really don't know what is going to happen each and every day in Asperia. You see I live with 3 Aspy children, one diagnosed along with ADHD, one in the process of being diagnosed and one undiagnosed but diagnosed with ADHD. And all suffering from anxiety. How did this happen? What did we do wrong? Yep, these are questions that regularly pass through the minds of my wife and I.
So as I say we never know what is going to happen from one day to the next. Well, I say that but really a number of things are virtually guaranteed. A phone call from school, at least one meltdown, several arguments of varying severity and a whole lot of worry.
I have been mulling over creating a blog for a while but have not really known when to start. A recent trip back home to the UK with my younger son? First week back at school for my eldest son and consequent suspension? Or the endless arguments between my daughter and her friends? But I have been keen to make this blog a positive experience, because who wants to sit and read me whinging about the shit that goes down in Asperia, right? Well let's face it there is going to be plenty of that but how about we start with a good day....... (its only 4.00pm, I don't want to tempt fate it could all go wrong yet. So let's say a 'good morning'.
To set the scene we were at our Sunday morning football matches (this is UK football or soccer as people call it in our home of Australia). Both the older two and myself play for a local club and I coach the eldest one's team. This season going to watch the kids play football has become a family event (much to the disgust of the youngest who wants to do nothing apart from watch Stampy videos on the ipad). So what was so great about this morning? (Keep up at the back.....please remember I said 'good' and not 'great'. I don't want to go over board). Well, what was so good about today was that it felt like a morning of football in neuro typical land. A short holiday for us from Asperia and all its special attractions. Asperia is, as I am sure you have fathomed, taken from Aspergers which is a now somewhat outdated sub strand of Autism but to my mind the best descriptions of the goings on in my house. So with your blessing, I am going to continue to use it to name the world in which we make our home.
So this morning was a short but refreshing trip to what we imagine normality to be like. Although I also understand that normal worlds are inhabited by many of the things that we in Asperia like to call our norms. I know this because people tell me this often in an attempt to make me feel less like a tourist in a foreign land I suppose.
Anyway, the reason today was good was that both kids went to football played well, listened to their coach at half time and pre and post game, joined in with the other players, shook hands with the opposition. My eldest boy also scored a goal, won the game and sung the song in the circle with his arms around the rest of the team. This was all done with a minimum of bickering and fighting (mainly because we have just bought in new and tougher consequences whereby the scared screen time is diminished for such behaviour, and in Asperia nothing shall interfere with sacred screen time (yes, yes, I know just like in most houses).
Not the most devastating outcomes that humankind has achieved I will concede but here in Asperia mornings like these don't come along very often and should be cherished and celebrated (in our case with a chocolate bar and hot chocolate with squirty cream).
Farewell, for now, I am off to play Rocket League with my oldest.
Dadspie
So as I say we never know what is going to happen from one day to the next. Well, I say that but really a number of things are virtually guaranteed. A phone call from school, at least one meltdown, several arguments of varying severity and a whole lot of worry.
I have been mulling over creating a blog for a while but have not really known when to start. A recent trip back home to the UK with my younger son? First week back at school for my eldest son and consequent suspension? Or the endless arguments between my daughter and her friends? But I have been keen to make this blog a positive experience, because who wants to sit and read me whinging about the shit that goes down in Asperia, right? Well let's face it there is going to be plenty of that but how about we start with a good day....... (its only 4.00pm, I don't want to tempt fate it could all go wrong yet. So let's say a 'good morning'.
To set the scene we were at our Sunday morning football matches (this is UK football or soccer as people call it in our home of Australia). Both the older two and myself play for a local club and I coach the eldest one's team. This season going to watch the kids play football has become a family event (much to the disgust of the youngest who wants to do nothing apart from watch Stampy videos on the ipad). So what was so great about this morning? (Keep up at the back.....please remember I said 'good' and not 'great'. I don't want to go over board). Well, what was so good about today was that it felt like a morning of football in neuro typical land. A short holiday for us from Asperia and all its special attractions. Asperia is, as I am sure you have fathomed, taken from Aspergers which is a now somewhat outdated sub strand of Autism but to my mind the best descriptions of the goings on in my house. So with your blessing, I am going to continue to use it to name the world in which we make our home.
So this morning was a short but refreshing trip to what we imagine normality to be like. Although I also understand that normal worlds are inhabited by many of the things that we in Asperia like to call our norms. I know this because people tell me this often in an attempt to make me feel less like a tourist in a foreign land I suppose.
Anyway, the reason today was good was that both kids went to football played well, listened to their coach at half time and pre and post game, joined in with the other players, shook hands with the opposition. My eldest boy also scored a goal, won the game and sung the song in the circle with his arms around the rest of the team. This was all done with a minimum of bickering and fighting (mainly because we have just bought in new and tougher consequences whereby the scared screen time is diminished for such behaviour, and in Asperia nothing shall interfere with sacred screen time (yes, yes, I know just like in most houses).
Not the most devastating outcomes that humankind has achieved I will concede but here in Asperia mornings like these don't come along very often and should be cherished and celebrated (in our case with a chocolate bar and hot chocolate with squirty cream).
Farewell, for now, I am off to play Rocket League with my oldest.
Dadspie
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