A Year is a Long Time in Asperia

Hello, good evening and welcome. You thought I had gone but alas I am both still here and back in (almost) equal measure. I have been thinking about writing another entry to this blog for ages, well about a year apparently (where did that go?). Well here I am finally getting around to it. Thankfully I a little push (you know who you are, and to you i say thank you for the nudge in the right direction).

Now I am back I am not going to bore you with all the news from Asperia from the last year (okay well actually i probably will a bit). One thing I will say though is that our oldest aspy has come on in leaps and bounds over the last year. He is attending school, going to most of his lessons and perhaps most importantly playing football (Soccer - from hence forth referred to as football, unaustralian I know, if we can keep a PM in the post for long enough they can deport me) every week and attending training most sessions. Oldest aspy has learnt that people are not as frightening as he sometimes thinks and has even told me on a number of occasions how much he likes being on the bench at football so he can have a laugh with his team mates. I am so proud of him for growing into a wonderful, thoughtful, kind and considerate teenager, just as many of his contemporaries are growing hunches, hairy knuckles and horns.

We still have the obsessive behaviour that dictates that we need to watch an ever expanding rotation of British comedy at least 6 times over and over before we move onto the next. So far he has ruined......erm..... I mean ...... enjoyed; Would I Lie to You, Friday Night Dinner, The IT Crowd, Fawlty Towers and currently James Acaster doing stand up. What amazes me the most about him is that he has become a thoughtful and caring young man. Recently we have been going to a rough patch with the other two (More about that later) and I have been pretty down at points. He will often ask if he can help, offer to play FIFA with me (read, beat me at FIFA) or do something else to try and help.

True to form we don't have too much time to spend on being proud of the boy and of ourselves for all of the work we have put in. Like the whack a mole game once we get to grips with one problem another jumps up (not Robinson Crusoe there I know) I am sure I mentioned that we were in the process of getting the other two diagnosed. We still are, as the wheels turn slow for the Asperia organisation. Our final meeting for our daughter is next week and we are fully expecting a non- diagnosis for her as during her assessment she turned in a performance worthy of great actors like Stefan Dennis. You have never seen such an outgoing and socially at ease child. She was cracking jokes, looking the examiner in the eye, laughing and joking with everyone (including her brothers). I say you have never seen such a thing and one thing is for sure, we haven't seen that child before or since. First rule of Asperia, keep everyone on their toes. If someone thinks they have a handle on you, change it up quick. However, as if not to be defeated we have got her a diagnosis of dyslexia. She has struggled with reading and writing for years, her spelling is a particular are of challenge for her and it is a huge shame that this has quashed her love of telling stories. When she was at kinder she would regale with amazing tall tales and a flights of fancy about her day all while Dylan would be screaming "its not true, why are you believing her? She's lying!" as tears of frustration rolled down his cheek.  Since she discovered she is dyslexic and 'not dumb' we are seeing an improvement in  social skills, as well as a flicker of her passion for writing that we feared was dead and buried (I have added her story at the end of this post - apologies for the unashamedly proud dad moment). As well as (hopefully) rekindling her love of story telling she has also become more confident and widened her social circle a bit, okay its just a bit but that still counts! She is still playing football too and it is great to see her interacting with her team mates both socially and during games and training.

So onto the youngest aspy in Asperia, and I have a feeling I might be writing a lot about him in the coming weeks (or years if I keep up my current rate of posting) so I will keep this reasonably brief. We have been thrown a huge curveball (hmmmm not happy with the baseball analogy, need to find a football one. Maybe one of those free kicks that moves about all over the place?) over the last year or so and has taken up the mantle of ensuring my hair goes grey and my nerves are frazzled before i even think about retirement. We are hoping that he will have a diagnosis of Autism/Aspergers in the next few weeks so we can start to get NDIS funding to help him with sensory, psychology and pragmatics. I must admit that I haven't been sure of his diagnosis but the last few months has proven my good lady wife correct (don't you hate that!). At a meeting with his psychologist we discussed the possibility of him having something called PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance). I am not going to try and explain it as I haven't really got a handle on it myself yet. Having said that though some of the ideas contained in it ring true to my childhood and I think that I have first hand understanding of some of the anger and frustration that my lad is feeling at the moment. Sadly this isn't really helping me with strategies and solutions to help him. If i am honest it feels in many ways that we are back at the start again and I will confess that it all feels just as daunting as it did the first time around. I know that this time I have some skills and understandings that took a long time to develop the first time, so this has got to help, right? I also know that I am going to have to learn a whole lot more only relevant to this situation and this member of Asperia. We are quite convinced that trying to sell up and move house is not helping the situation. It is hard for little aspies when things are so uncertain. I am sure this will feature in future blogs, should I manage to get off my arse, get my arse off screen and get writing more regularly. Please, if you can spare a minute please encourage me by leaving a comment on here or on facebook, or even use that old school communication method and say it face to face.

Middle Aspy Daughter Writing

 Rusty as a kitty pet: 

A tiny flame covered kitten hisses and mews as the monsters roar past him. The monster pulls over, doors open, two legs jump out. The two legs grabs the tiny kitten from the boot of the monster and takes it into their warm home. He sniffs the air and smells another cat. He looks around and jumps on an old fashioned couch. A black and white cat, behind the glass, startles him as he looks out the window. His fur bristles as he falls off the couch. He hisses at the cat and the cat walks stealthily off. He hears the shaking of cat food and he pounds into the kitchen. He sniffs his food; it seems plain and doesn’t look appetizing. He takes a bite; it has no flavor at all but he eats it anyway and goes to investigate the house.